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Monday, 15 February 2016

The hunted evil ride


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Hunted evill ride
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One sunny hot day Shaun was going to the theme park in the morning he was bulky like a Gorilla and Mini,Me well he was like as tall like a Baby Bear but he was fast like you you never seen him we're excited because there was a roller coaster. But the thing about this ride the rail will wiggle and it felt like it was about to collapse but because it was an old ride so what do you inspect “Let's go” So we're on the ride here we go!!! were going up down trul trul and a big circle and the strange thing when we got off they saw a ghost that was flying in the air I quickly ran home.
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Shaun Forgot Mini,Me and now Mini,Me all alone Wait he’s not a alone
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Shaun tell mum That Mini,Me alone and pick up Mini,Me at the theme park

2 comments:

  1. Great to see you including dialogue and using speech marks correctly John. I'm looking forward to your spooky forest story this week!

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  2. Hi John,
    It's good to see that you've been learning about narrative writing. Your story has used some interesting words. I felt sorry for Mini me when I read that he was forgotten by Shaun. I'm looking forward to reading more of your stories.

    Have a great year John Amour.
    From Miss Lavakula

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